Do you LOVE what you do?

I truly believe that if something isn't fun, or that you can't make it fun, or at least have fun doing it (what ever it is), then you probably shouldn't be doing it. 

In fact, you should do something, anything else. 

We spend so much time doing 'something' as a profession, career or vocation; why not make it significant, engaging, and enjoyable?

Of course, for some people, doing something that isn't fun, is often about money, or other reasons; a means to an end, keeping up appearances, meeting others' expectations, or climbing a ladder. 

But I'm not speaking to that audience. I talking to those of you who are seeking your life's purpose; doing your 'thing', which will lead you to a life of significance & meaning. 

In seeking to achieve that through startup success, if you have a partner, there is something that you absolutely must do before, during & after your startup. You have an obligation to bring that person 'with you' on the journey. 

First and foremost, aren't you building something so that you and your partner can have a better life together? So why wouldn't you want to share the highs and lows?

Celebrate the successes? Share in the learning?

After all, if it really is all about the journey, isn't it also about who you share that journey with? 

I was married for many years to a very fearful person. Her main expression was 'There's no fun until the work is done'. And this is not an uncommon attitude. There are many people in the world who cannot 'let go', who have to own the process & micro manage it to its conclusion before they can relax. 

And yet, that holds them back from obtaining a state of 'flow', a positive, inspiring state of creativity, passion & productivity. Its exactly that state you need to get to in building a startup, where people just cant wait to engage with you. 

For reasons not relevant here, I am no longer with that person (though I harbour no resentment), but obviously there was a mis-match of psyches. This is a scarcity mentality, not one of abundance. (If you aren't sure what I mean, there are are some great books on the topic, but my favourite is 'Blue Ocean Strategy').

Some-one with that sort of attitude, will probably never understand the mentality required to create a startup (whether successful or not). The ebbs & flows of the tides of our world are too strong, too overwhelming, too uncontrollable. 

So before you quit your day job to do the thing that you've always wanted to (whether a startup or something else), think about your partner, and what they need; talk with them about where you want to go, and why. And then start thinking about positive strategies to bridge any gaps. 

And if you want to give yourself the best chance of success, do this with the advice, support & guidance, of a suitably experienced coach, advisor or mentor. 

Then you can love what you do, and so will the person that you love. That, my friends, is half the battle won right there, before even a single shot has been fired. 

Winning isnt really winning- it's failing to fail.

When most people think of winning, they think of the skill of the sportsman, or team, in competition against their peers.
That level of skill is often physically matched, so the difference is shown in the mental preparation, or determination, a willingness to beat the other team, by doing those '1%-ers' required to gain an edge.
So often the success, or failure is measured in centimeters, or milliseconds, or some other very small margin of difference between the combatants.
However, in the startup game, it's something else entirely.

Here, your competition isn't really your competition. Your ability to do things 1% better may not be ever be recognised, valued or even make a difference. A coder who is 1% better than his peers, may not be as politically savvy, or as good at extolling his virtues. I'm not suggesting that the aggregate results of doing things better isn't required -it's just that it not the difference between failure and success in our world.
For example, from my experience in startups so far, a brilliant idea, a 'perfect pitch', a well-oiled team, a valid proof of concept, early market traction, or even that successful elusive 'series A' funding round, are no guarantees to ultimate market success.
Here, its something much less well defined; its more akin to the solo yatchsmen that circumnavigate the globe; they keep trying, again & again, despite weather, equipment failure, adversity, fatigue, capsizing etc., until they acheive their goal. You often hear hear of them succeeding after many attempts.

This type of winning could be more aptly described as 'failing to fail', and is much closer to what you & I do perhaps every day.
Leni Mayo (of 99 Designs fame) described it best when he recently floated the concept to me that that the normal entrepreneur (I avoid the word average here) has attempted 8 startups before they get something to fly. (He also joked to me that he lucked out on his 2nd.)
Unfortunately, too many give up before that stage.

So if the game isn't you against the world, what is it really? I believe that the real game is 'you against yourself'.

• How big is your vision?
• What lengths are you prepared to go to, in order to make it a reality? 
• How many stones are you prepared to turn over? 
• How uncomfortable are you willing to get? 
• How much more are prepared to stretch, to strive, to reach? 
• How hard will you push yourself? 
• What pain are you willing to endure in the pursuit of your vision?
• How many times will you get up after you get knocked-down?

Did you notice that none of these mention or even consider competition? No, the real game is 'you'.  If you doubt me still, let me ask you three final questions.

If not 'this', then what? 
If not 'now', then when? 
If not 'you', then who? 
So stay in the game, keep striving, keep reaching, keep failing, and most importantly, keep getting back up, until you fail at failing.  
Then everyone can call you an 'overnight success'.